SJ Goslee & Chewy and Guster

Who is in the photo at right?

Hi, I’m SJ Goslee, and I write books in the dead of night (most recently Whatever) and work on web sites by day. These two goofballs are Chewy & Guster. Chewy, our girl, is a rat terrier mix and is 10 years old. Guster, our boy, is a cane corso, and is only 4.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

A typical weekend morning, Chewy has to be on or near me if I’m sitting down, and Guster likes to hover, jealous that he’s too big to be a lap dog.

What's brewing?

Black and burning hot, I’m on a Starbucks’ Pike Place Roast kick right now.

Any treats for you or Chewy and Guster on this occasion?

No treats! Sometimes I like something sweet with my coffee, but I rarely get to sit for more than five minutes at a time in the morning with kids and five animals in the house. Chewy and Gus only get treats when Poppy comes around!

How were you and your dogs united?

We were actually puppy-sitting Chewy for a friend who had rescued her from a neighbor nearly 10 years ago and fell in love with her. We asked if we could keep her and she’s been by my side (and under my covers) ever since. Guster came along the same year we had my oldest son. We thought it would be neat to have them grow up together.

How did your dogs get their names? Any aliases?

Chewy came to us with her name—we usually end up calling her “Chew-Chew”, or “Chew-bird”, or “Hey Jerky.” Guster’s official registered name is actually Burton Guster (after the Psych character), but mostly he’s just “Gus” or “Yuck Mouth.”

Do Chewy and Guster do more to help or hinder your writing?

Hinder—especially if I’m home alone, they just can’t stand not having attention!

Have your dogs inspired the creation of any fictional dogs?

As of yet, no, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

…cars, knocks at the door, books dropping, basically anything that makes a noise sets Chewy off, and then Gus automatically barks to help her out, even if he has no idea what’s going on.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

Antlers, mainly, but if you give them a stuffed squeaky toy it’ll be torn apart in five minutes or less.

Who are Chewy and Guster's best pet-pals?

Chewy will only cuddle with Gus or our oldest cat, Maude—we got her maybe three months before Chewy. Gus likes our youngest cat, Mildred, because she tolerates getting slobbered on.

What is each dog's best quality?

Chewy is a snuggler, she sleeps every night along my side, not sure if I could sleep without her now! Gus is a big doofus, and all he wants are pets.

If Chewy and Guster could change one thing about Pennsylvanians, what would it be?

Everyone should carry lunch meat with them everywhere. That should be a thing.

If Chewy and Guster could answer only one question in English, what would you ask them?

What the heck is living in the bushes that you’re so intent on getting?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Chewy and Guster could speak, who should voice them?

Chewy: Kristen Wiig.
Guster: Vin Diesel.

What advice would your dogs give if asked?

Watch out for those striped black and white cat things, they stink.

Visit S.J. Goslee's website.

--Marshal Zeringue