Monday, November 26, 2018

P. J. Vernon & Chauncey and Mikko

Who is in the photo?

The human is me, PJ Vernon. I’m a suspense author (When You Find Me is my Southern Gothic debut, and everyone should buy twelve copies from NY Times-reporting bookstores). These are my dogs, and they’re pretty grand, too.

In the foreground and half outta frame, we have Chauncey the eight-year-old English Bulldog.

Above him, is our three-year-old rescue, Mikko. Half-Husky, half-German Shepherd, half-Bolto, and half-White Fang. That math adds up; no follow-up questions.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

When it comes to my dog-children, I’m a pageant mom. I’ve forced this publicity upon them in an emotionally-fraught attempt to live vicariously through their impending celebrity.

What's brewing?

I’m no coffee snob [coffee not pictured for safety reasons]. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve got a collection of great beans—and one of those fancy-shmancy hand-crank grinders—but ain’t nothin’ wrong with Maxwell House in the morning. The addition of sweetened condensed milk, however, is an absolute must.

Any treats for you or your dogs on this occasion?

No.

Mikko already indulged in sweet manna from the heavens (magpies dropped orange peels in the backyard this morning while I wasn’t paying attention).

Chauncey’s treat-less because he knows what he did.

How were you and your dogs united?

Chauncey was a poorly-advised-but-totally-worth-it-and-no-one-can-tell-me-otherwise purchase. In grad school, I emptied my entire checking account to bring him home. The bank teller’s face as I withdrew everything to acquire a puppy? Priceless.

Bless her heart.

Mikko’s a rescue. He hails from the far north of Alberta. Brrr. He has a prison [shelter] tat on his left ear, bum hind leg, and a heart o’ pure gold.

He’s also in doggie therapy working on his fear reactivity towards strange dogs (we all have a past). He’s making fabulous progress!

How did your dogs get their names? Any aliases?

Chauncey’s name just came to me. He often goes by Chaunpoo. My partner Barry named Mikko. Mikko also goes by Mikkiepoo.

Do Chauncey and Mikko do more to help or hinder your writing?

A mixed bag. I’m very productive in the mornings when they play the role of white noise machines (soothing snoring punctuated by an occasional fart).

However, once noon rolls around, they engage in mission creep but for dinner. At one point, feeding was 6 PM. They’ve now collapsed the dinnertime window to between 3 and 4. Success!

Have any actual dogs ever inspired dogs in your fiction?

Oh god no. I wouldn’t let them anywhere near my dark and twisty plots.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

Baby strollers.

Our house is a downtown, so there’s always a flurry of activity outside. When—and this actually happened—drifters were having sex in our back alley? Not a peep from either of them.

But the menacing clickity-clack of a squeaky stroller wheel on an uneven sidewalk? Not havin’ it.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

All of the above for Chauncey. It’s unlikely Mikko had access to traditional dog toys as a pup, so he’s in the process of learning how to play from his brother. Although, he does have a serious sock fetish we have to watch out for.

Who is each dog's best pet-pal?

Chauncey is not self-aware when it comes to his status as “pet”, so he’d likely say Mikko. His dog.

Circling back to Mikko’s fear reactivity, he’s made great furry friends in therapy (huge shout out to Dogma in Calgary). But at the end of the day, he loves Chauncey the most. He’s protective of his sibling.

What is each dog's best quality?

Chauncey spent his formative years with me as a single gay man, so his special power is the neediness I deliberately and carefully cultivated in him.

Mikko’s best quality is his ability to play the big spoon to my little spoon on the couch.

If Chauncey and Mikko could change one thing about you, what would it be?

They’d like to see the final remnants of my sand castle-like resolve wash away when it comes to staving off dinner until [currently] 3:30 PM.

If your dogs could answer only one question in English, what would you ask them?

How much more do you love me than Barry? If the answer’s not what I want to hear, I forfeit my question.

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which your dogs could speak, who should voice them?

Mikko could be voiced by Michael J. Fox who played Chance in Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.

Chauncey could be done by Sally Field a la Sassy.

Neither has the gravitas for Shadow (played by the late Don Ameche).

What advice would your dogs give if asked?

Strollers belong in zoo enclosures where they can be appreciated from a safe distance. Not just… feral… in urban centers.

Visit P. J. Vernon's website.

The Page 69 Test: When You Find Me.

Writers Read: P. J. Vernon.

My Book, The Movie: When You Find Me.


--Marshal Zeringue

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Abbi Waxman & her dogs

Author Abbi Waxman answers a few questions about her dogs, Daisy, Jasper, and Wilbur.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

I don't really need an occasion. I pretty much mainline coffee and dogs all day. The three we have, plus one that comes over to visit a lot, plus my brother-in-law's dog who often comes to stay... there's always fur everywhere and a lot of noise, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, that might explain my need to mainline coffee, but correlation is not causation, right?

[photo right: Wilbur]

What's brewing?

Drip coffee: Peet's Major Dickasons, at home, although I don't like the way they make coffee in their coffee shops (sorry, Peet's). I work at a Le Pain Quotidien near my house, and there I drink either lattes with cinnamon or mochas.

Any treats for you or your dogs on this occasion?

Yes, always treats, although mostly for me. I'm a cake whore.

How were you and your dogs united?

Two of them came from the pound, and one from a small family breeder (it's a long story, adopt don't shop, etc).

How did your dogs get their names? Any aliases?

The kids named Wilbur and Daisy, I named Jasper [photo left]. They wanted to call him Huckleberry, but I put my foot down. We call them all kinds of names, all the time; Jasperilla, Wilberto, Wilberino, Daisy D. Dog...the list goes on.

Do your dogs do more to help or hinder your writing?

Help. They're an excellent distraction and excuse not to work. The picture of Jasper is his idea of a subtle interruption to my work.

Have any actual dogs ever inspired dogs in your fiction?

There are lots of dogs in my work, they're my favorite characters to write. They're all an amalgam of all the dogs I've ever had, although Frank, the dog who appears in all three of my novels, is based on a labrador mix we had years ago, whose name was Milo. He was a great dog.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

They ignore cats, largely, because we have several, and they're nice to the mailman. However, they are driven to distraction by the squirrels in our yard, and there's kind of a running battle. We have two or three squirrels who regularly taunt the dogs and sit up in the trees and chatter and hurl invective down at them. Jasper falls for it every time. He's a sucker.

[photo right: Daisy]

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

All of the above.

Who is each dog's best pet-pal?

Daisy, who is a pug mix, doesn't think she's a dog, so she tends to hang out with me. Jasper loves Wilbur, because when Jasper came to us as a puppy Wilbur was already grown. He looks up to him. Wilbur loves whoever has food. All of them love my youngest daughter, Kate, who is a dog whisperer and animal fanatic.

What is each dog's best quality?

Daisy has a commitment to sleep that I envy. Wilbur has a commitment to food that I appreciate. And Jasper is the most enthusiastic dog on the planet. He is up for anything.

If your dogs could change one thing about Angelenos, what would it be?

They would encourage them to drop more food.

If your dogs could answer only one question in English, what would you ask them?

What can I do to make you happy?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which your dogs could speak, who should voice them?

Well, currently we have three dogs, two cats, a leopard gecko and 7 chickens, so I think they should all be played by Meryl Streep, just to give her a challenge.

What advice would your dogs give if asked?

You should take a nap. And snack more. Snack and nap, over and over again.

Visit Abbi Waxman's website.

--Marshal Zeringue