Elizabeth Haynes & Bea

Who is in the photo at right?

I’m the one on the left – my name is Elizabeth Haynes and I’m a writer from the south east of England. In the centre is our Spanish shelter dog, Bea, and on the right is my ten year old son, Alex.

The picture was taken at Seaford Head, which overlooks a famous set of white chalk cliffs called the Seven Sisters. This is very close to where I grew up, and it was Bea’s first visit to the place I know as home.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

I write from a shed in my back yard. It’s quite smart as far as sheds go – and it has a coffee machine that can produce a pretty decent espresso.

I used to write in coffee shops, but since my lovely canine isn’t allowed in to most of them, I prefer to write – and drink my coffee – in the shed, with Bea for company.

What's brewing?

Today I’ve brewed a double shot espresso and topped it off with some hot milk. I’ve added some Amaretto flavoured syrup for variety, and because I need a sugar hit to get going.

Any treats for you or Bea on this occasion?

I have a ‘biscuit box’ in the shed for emergencies. Bea’s got a rawhide bone that she’s been working on for some time now.

How were you and Bea united?

A friend of mine adopted a dog through a charity that rehomes stray dogs from Southern Spain. The shelter is really overcrowded and these lovely dogs have very little hope of finding a forever home since there are so many of them. My friend Heather had such a good experience with her dog, Robert, that when we decided to get a shelter dog too it seemed the right thing for us. Bea had been abandoned at the gates of the dog pound as a pup with her siblings, and had been there ever since – two years! She came to us in April having been driven all the way across Europe in a van, and she was so timid at first. Despite having never lived in a house she coped really well. She’s such a fast learner, and so eager to please. She has been doing so well at her dog training classes, and she is such a kind, placid and loving girl – we could not have hoped to get a better dog. Here’s a picture of her [photo left] in the back of my car – terrified - a few minutes after I’d collected her from the van, and another picture of her on my knee after a walk [photo right], four days later.

How did Bea get her name? Any aliases?

The shelter had named her Beatriz, but since none of us can pronounce Spanish properly we shortened it to Bea (to rhyme with pea.) She also gets called Buzzy-Bee, Biba, Bea the Wonderdog and Superbea. In private I call her my Baby Bea.

You published your latest novel before Bea joined the household. Is there any chance a Bea-inspired dog will make it into your future work?

My characters have had cats as pets in the past and this is largely because I’ve always worked full time and therefore have had cats myself. Now I’m working from home and can have a dog, I suspect my characters will have dogs too. At the moment I’m working on a short story to promote my fourth book, Under a Silent Moon, and strangely enough a dog is going to feature in it. In fact, the dog in question is Dixi, who is our Bea’s brother and along with the other siblings Helena and Tino is still waiting in Spain in the hope of finding a forever home. You can see a video of the three remaining podenco puppies here.

Does Bea do more to help or to hinder your writing?

She is very good, actually – much less distracting than any of the cats I’ve had in the past. She follows me quietly from room to room, and when I’m in the shed writing she will be curled up in her bed in the corner, or lying outside in the sunshine if it’s warm. Bea is always ready and willing to go for a walk whenever I need a break, and since she’s still learning to play, she’s not constantly pestering me to throw a ball.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

When Bea had been with us three weeks, we heard her woof for the first time and it took us all completely by surprise. The cause of this uproar was a cat that was sitting on the fence. She will bark at anything that comes into the garden, but a cat on its own territory is merely observed with a patient curiosity. She enjoys chasing pigeons and rabbits on our walks, but if she gets close enough to catch them she lets them go about their business. She is a podenco, which is a Spanish hunting breed, so she is a natural chaser and very fast when running at full stretch.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

She’s learning to enjoy chasing tennis balls; she has squeaky toys and a plush dog, but she’s not destructive at all. She’d much prefer to just snuggle up and snooze on the couch.

Does Bea have a favorite place to go for outings?

We have a wheatfield a short distance from the house and when the wheat was growing she would run around in crazy circles through it, occasionally leaping like a gazelle above the crops to see where she was.

Who is Bea's best pet-pal?

Here she is [photo left] with LG (short for Laughing Gravy) who is a red labrador belonging to fellow crime writer Lisa Cutts.

LG is staying with us at the moment while Lisa’s on vacation. He’s about three times the size of Bea but they are very good friends. You can’t see it in the first picture but both tails are wagging!

What is Bea's best quality?

She’s incredibly placid and calm. And she has the most amazingly expressive ears – we have Dobby ears, Yoda ears, greyhound ears, bat ears – and beautiful topaz coloured eyes.

If Bea could change one thing about Kentish folk, what would it be?

I don’t think she has a problem with the people, but I don’t think she’s too impressed with the Kentish weather. It has been a good summer but I know she’s not keen on the rain and heaven only knows how she’ll cope when it starts to snow. Southern Spain, where she’s from, is hot and sunny pretty much all year round.

If Bea could answer only one question in English, what would you ask her?

Why do you insist on eating grass when you know it upsets your tummy?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Bea could speak, who should voice her?

It would have to be Penelope Cruz. A girl and her dog can dream! Thank you so much for asking me these great questions. Bea is looking particularly fluffy and proud of herself as a result.

Read about Human Remains.

Visit the official Elizabeth Haynes website and blog.

--Marshal Zeringue

Kirsty & Strauss

Who is in the photo at right?

This is me, Kirsty a.k.a ‘SV’, 35-year-old modern day nomad currently living in Italy, blogger on Status Viatoris, writer for the Overseas Guides Company and wannabe author in general. With me is the love of my life and centre of my universe, Strauss a.k.a ‘Pooch’, an 11-and-a-half year old male Podenco (Spanish hunting dog) cross.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

Our day always starts at 6:30/7:00 with an enormous mug of tea in bed; I read whichever book I have on the go and Strauss snoozes on under the duvet like a lazy teenager - although when we are in the UK at my mother’s house he will be sitting eagerly at the end of the bed keeping watch for squirrels out of the window.

What's brewing?

Tea, of course! Nothing beats a mug of strong builder’s tea with a splash of milk. PG Tips pyramid tea bags are the only essential item on my list of must-haves from the UK – the Italian equivalent simply doesn’t cut it; gnat’s pee is gnat’s pee no matter how exotic the location.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

I shall probably have another mug of tea with my breakfast – a bowl of oats with blueberries and milk. Yum!

Any treat for Strauss on this occasion?

Strauss has his brekky after our morning walk; doggy biscuits for ‘dogs d’un certain âge’ with a bratwurst sausage cut up into them – an excellent way of disguising his cod liver oil/glucosamine capsules which he needs for his achy joints.

He tends to have his treats in the evening, and any kind of dental chew makes his day – although I have to say that they never seem to make much inroad into his halitosis…

How were you and your dog united?

I adopted Strauss from a rescue centre in Estepona whilst I was living in Southern Spain. He was about three months old at the time, extremely skinny and full of worms. The first year was slightly up and down, but we settled into a mutual love-fest soon after that which has done nothing but increase in intensity since then.

When he was two, we moved to Southern France for five years; Strauss was especially thrilled as we exchanged a concrete jungle for a mountain village in the process.

When he was seven, we went back to the UK for a while for family reasons and then up to Scotland for seven months, he also stayed with my mother for four months whilst I backpacked round New Zealand – it worked very well at the time, but I simply couldn’t consider such a long separation from him again.

When Strauss was nine, we moved to Italy and another mountain village where he is thoroughly spoilt by everyone there due to his charming little ways.

How did Strauss get his names? Does he have any nicknames?

My family has a history of naming dogs after classical music composers and with the theory regarding single-syllable names for dogs ruling out Rimsky-Korsakov, Strauss he became!

When he was little I used to refer to him as Straussy, but a young Spanish boy I was teaching English to at the time misheard and began calling him Trousers; Trousers then got a Scottish makeover and was shortened to Trewsy or Trews. In France some of my friends rechristened him ‘Stras’ which mean scrap of cloth in dialect, and then when we got to Italy he became ‘Squisi’, short for squisito (exquisite) or ‘Stronz’ short for stronzo (idiot).

He is also variously referred to as ‘Mummy’s Ickle Soldier’, ‘Angel of Luvy Wuvy’ and ‘Mummy’s Fluffy Wuffy Baby’, all of which he has strongly requested I refrain from using in public.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Definitely squirrel, but only when we are in the UK. He’s perfectly happy to bark up at them when they’re in the trees, but can’t be bothered to chase them when they actually come down to his level, so contents himself with staring at them for hours whilst shaking with excitement.

He used to have a thing about cats, but Italian cats are seriously tough, so he has given up trying to provoke them and now even counts a couple among his besties.

Tennis ball, Frisbee, squeaky-toy...?

None of the above, in fact rocks have always been Strauss’s thing, and the bigger the better.

Once he finds the perfect specimen, he enjoys carrying it around between his long-blunt teeth or sitting with it between his front paws and licking it incessantly or dropping it in long grass then madly uprooting the grass to uncover it – the games are endless and apparently very entertaining, and although he would be perfectly happy to hand over a fresh lamb bone if it were requested of him, parting him from one of his rocks is a job for someone with a lot of time on their hands and an almost endless well of patience.

Where is Pooch's favorite place for an outing?

Strauss loves swimming, especially in the river that runs along the bottom of my Italian village. Unfortunately due to his achy back legs, swimming no longer loves him; so this summer will almost certainly have to be a water-free one. Luckily he is made pretty happy with any sort of outing, even a spin round town can be satisfyingly packed with interesting sniffs and stuff to gawp at.

Who are Strauss's best pet-pals?

Strauss is definitely more of a people-dog. He rarely shows much interest in other dogs, probably because he doesn’t consider himself to be one; however he doesn’t mind the odd wrestling match with Sugar, the Brittany spaniel puppy. He also enjoys mooching round the garden with Olive the whippet, and the occasional bounce with Lady the beagle cross. Bruschetta the black cat and Stella the multi-coloured cat will also get a brief wag and an affectionate sniff if their paths cross.

His human friends, however, are many and varied but listing them here would constitute an invasion of privacy and would certainly make their own pets jealous.

What is Strauss's most endearing quality?

Strauss is a truly wonderful dog and I would find it practically impossible to choose just one quality; he is affectionate, friendly, communicative, funny, happy, goofy, loving, chatty, waggy, and expressive, and he manages to charm most people who meet him.

In fact I strongly suspect that a lot of people I count amongst my friends are probably only using me in order to spend quality time with him… Oh well.

What is Strauss's proudest moment? Most embarrassing?

Strauss’s main purpose in life is as a sort of canine ack-ack gun, and he is never prouder than when he manages to chase a passenger jet out of our airspace with a volley of fierce barks accompanied by some threatening bouncing and a spine-chilling display of hackles.

His most embarrassing moment could well have been the time he raced helter-skelter into our balcony window in Marbella trying to get to a bird that had alighted on the railings. Sheepish was not the word…

If your dog could change one thing about you, what would it be?

He would almost certainly request that I refrain from making a fuss of other people’s pets, thank you very much Mummy.

Visit the Status Viatoris blog and Facebook page.

--Marshal Zeringue