Gerrie Ferris Finger & Bogey

Who is in the photo at right?

That's Bogey and me, Gerrie Ferris Finger. I write crimes novels and Bogey sits for photographs so he can be on the jacket of my book. Bogey is a male standard poodle, Westminster pedigreed, but who's bragging since he refuses to be trained to trot to my rhythm. He's eight going on two.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

They closed our dog park, a real bummer for Bogey because he can't bully the big dogs. He's scared to death of little pooches. So he's found a favorite place behind our house, with a pond full of ducks and geese. He chases deer and armadillos while I sip coffee at 7 in the morning.

What's brewing?

Starbucks French roast, black and strong.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

Biscuits and honey.

Any treat for Bogey on this occasion?

Buttered biscuits and a dog chew.

How did you and Bogey come together?

My husband and I were recommended to a breeder in Atlanta. We made an "appointment" to view two black "standies." When they brought the "babies" out, I thought they were the parents. At three months, the pups were huge. Our breeder explained they were bred for height, at least 30 at the withers. Bogey, who was unnamed then, ran straight to my husband. Bogey had selected him, before his litter mate had a chance to get a nod in. Then we were interviewed like we were adopting a human baby. We were accepted with the caveat that if anything went wrong, we were to bring the poodle back to the breeder - no rescue outfits or humane societies, please.

Does Bogey have any influence on your writing?

Barking at geckos drives me up the wall. In my next novel, I'm using a poodle named Jolene as a cadaver dog.

How did Bogey get his name? Does he have any aliases?

I play golf. I'm a Bogey golfer. Many aliases, depending on his mood and mine.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Hates the first two.

Tennis ball, Frisbee, squeaky-toy...?

Has basketfuls of toys. No need to put them away, he takes them all out. When I have a book contest, he chooses the winner from tennis balls numbered and thrown in his toy box. [see photos]. They correlate to a list of names. We have fun.

Who is Bogey's best pet-pal?

Teddy, a labradoodle.

What's Bogey's best quality?

His humanity.

What’s the most amusing thing Bogey does? The most frustrating?

He runs away so my husband comes to "find" him on the golf cart.

Gerrie Ferris Finger won The Malice Domestic/St. Martin's Minotaur Best First Traditional Novel Competition for The End Game, which was released by St. Martin's Minotaur in April 2010.

Among the early praise for The End Game:

A well-research plot and snappy dialogue - plus some fine rail-yard K-9 detecting by Buddy, a German shepherd, and Jed, a Labrador retriever - keep the action moving.
--Publishers Weekly

Read an excerpt from The End Game, and learn more about the book and author at Gerrie Ferris Finger's website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Diane Hammond & Petey and Haagen

Who is in the photo at right?

The woman in the photo is me, Diane Hammond, novelist and pushover. The puppy is boychik Haagen MacDoggin, then four months old and the best Pembroke corgi puppy ever. Don’t take my word for it—ask anyone. Really. The second photo is of Petey, the best adult Pembroke corgi ever. Period.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We often go to Starbucks to break up a long afternoon. The dogs think it’s very genteel.

What’s brewing?

Cappuccino (me) and water (them).

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

A molasses cookie for me if the cafe has them, which they usually don’t, and madelaines for them, which they usually do. Then why am I the one with a weight problem?

How did you and Petey and Haagen come together?

You know how this one goes. Your daughter wants, no, needs a dog. She’s thirteen, and a social underachiever, and it’s breaking your heart. She chooses the breed, finds the breeder, makes the pitch, is offered the dog--himself less than successful in his six scant months, having bilged out of the stud pool and sent back on account of an irregularity in one eye. So you say yes, you’ll take the dog, knowing your life will change forever but believing—I repeat, believing, which tells you something about our household habit of baseless optimism—that this will be your daughter’s responsibility and salvation. Ah, but no—he, Petey, becomes yours, instead, in three weeks flat.

And it is a further mark of your goodness—or pushoverability—that you believe Petey is suffering in his life as an only dog belonging to a writer. What is his life, after all, but lying beneath your desk all day? So you buy him a puppy of his own. Enter Haagen MacDoggin. For whom you fly from Oregon to southern California. And who falls instantly, deeply and hopelessly in love with your husband. Which is perfectly fine, since Petey is yours.

Do Petey and Haagen have any influence on your writing?

I tell them they’re my muse and muse-in-training, but we all know that the only effect they have on my writing is to interrupt it at regular intervals so they can go potty. Which is their right.

How did Petey and Haagen get their names? Do they have any aliases?

All our animals (six cats as well as the dogs) have multiple aliases. Petey’s name came from the breeder as Peeping Tom—or PT for short. We changed it to Petey, feeling we owed him that much. He is also known as Mr. Dog, a designation used at least half the time. Haagen got his name before we’d ever laid eyes on him, so-named by my husband when we thought we’d move to Scotland. His full name is Haagen MacDoggin. We let people think we named him after the ice cream, though, because that’s easier.

What are their chase-objects of choice?

As a herding dog, Petey lives for the mornings when he can run off-leash and flat-out into the heart of a flock of Canada geese. They take off with a great noise and beating of wings and he couldn’t be happier. He is currently teaching Haagen, now five months old, this important skill.

What are dogs' favorite toys?

Ponderosa pine cones are the hands-down favorite, though a pig’s ear is a close second. In fact, being very food-motivated, anything that can be eaten is just fine. Otherwise, a soft plush toy is beloved, as are empty plastic beverage bottles, which crackle in a satisfying way when flattened and chewed.

Who is each dog's best pet-pal?

Petey’s best pet-pal is Haagen. Haagen’s best pet-pal is Petey. Neat, huh?

What is each dog's best quality?

Petey’s best quality is his gentleness with Haagen—who can be, let’s face it, pretty irritating in that puppy way. Haagen’s best quality is his indiscriminate delight in everything around him. Both dogs’ mutual best quality is their ability to love us without reservation.

What is the most amusing thing each dog does?

Both sleep on their backs, as corgis are wont to do [photo, above right].

What is the most frustrating thing each dog does?

Both herd our six cats, rounding them up for breakfast and again for dinner. This is endlessly irritating (at least to the cats), and the cacophony of barking and hissing can fray the nerves (ours).

Diane Hammond, the author of Going to Bend and Homesick Creek, is the recipient of an Oregon Arts Commission literary fellowship and served as a spokesperson for the Free Willy Keiko Foundation and the Oregon Coast Aquarium.

In 2008 she applied the Page 69 Test to her novel Hannah’s Dream.

Earlier this month she applied the Page 69 Test to her new novel, Seeing Stars.

Read an excerpt from Seeing Stars, and learn more about the book and author at Diane Hammond's website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Sharon Castellanos & Cleo

Who is in the photo at right?

I am Sharon Castellanos, a writer and photographer in San Francisco. Cleo found my husband and I five years while we were visiting our SPCA. They said she was between two-five years but every since then, because we adore her so much, we have agreed she must have been two. She was surrendered to a shelter up north so no one really knows her history. We think she is about seven now. She is likely part Husky, part German Shepherd but some folks and even local children she meets on her walks wonder if she is part wolf.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

Every morning she wakes me up like a clock at 8:00 AM for her morning routine, which includes my making her breakfast then lots of cuddles and petting while I have my coffee.

What's brewing?

In the morning I love a double espresso, sometimes with a shot of cream! We have a great Krups machine that does it all including the occasional coffee or cappuccino.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

For breakfast it is usually a piece of fruit and some yogurt, though the weekends will often include eggs and bacon.

Any treat for Cleo on this occasion?

Cleo gets fed twice daily salmon and sweet potato kibble, with a scoop of low fat cottage cheese, a scoop of flax meal and a protein like cooked ground beef. She eats well and is already a big girl. Her treats are the occasional lamb jerky or a tiny piece of bacon or tiny corner of peanut butter toast on the weekends.

How were you and Cleo united?

In 2005 we were ready for a dog. We knew we wanted a big dog and the SF/SPCA has a great facility so we started visiting every week or so. One afternoon we saw Cleo inside a room with another dog. Cleo remained on the little bed just staring at us serenely while the other dog jumped and barked at the window. Something about her stuck with us. My husband went on his own the next week and when the staff member let him inside the room, Cleo came over and put her head in his lap. He was hooked. Since the SPCA doesn’t “hold” a dog for you he rushed to get me so we could bring her home that night. We’ve been a tight knit pack ever since.

How did Cleo get her name? Does she have any aliases?

Cleo came with her name. I don’t know who gave it to her but in the beginning I accidentally called her Chloe a few times. Since she never responded to that, it was up to me to learn her name. Also as we have gotten to know her personality, Cleo fits. Not only does she have certain feline aspects like her tiny feet, her love of rubbing her body along the sides of the bed and couch, she has the regal bearing of Cleopatra. She has many aliases with the most popular being Kitten Feet, Trotsky, Kitty Kaboom and of course Grouchy Puppy.

Why “of course Grouchy Puppy”?

Cleo is the muse behind Grouchy Puppy™ a dog character and a website that I’m in the process of creating. She inspired the name because she is so often misunderstood, besides how can you be afraid of or mad at a grouchy puppy? Last year I started her blog, Cleo’s Day because we are impressed by her ability to demonstrate simple principles like unconditional love and tolerance. I’m in the middle now of writing a series of children’s books starring Cleo, the Grouchy Puppy. We hope to use the character to teach children and really people of all ages.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Squirrel, postman and man in brown! Her tolerance unfortunately doesn’t yet include these three. She will sit and stare up into a tree for hours at a squirrel, if we let her. I feel so bad for any postman because she turns into Cujo whenever she sees or hears one. If we are out on our walk, I make sure to cross the street so the postman isn’t afraid. The same goes for the man in brown. Seriously any package delivered, gets a more thorough going over by her nose than any TSA inspection at the airport.

Tennis ball, stick, squeaky-toy...?

Squeaky toy wins every time! She doesn’t care much for fetch unless she thinks it will make us happy but even that motivation doesn’t last longer than two tosses. Her idea of heaven is a plush squeaky toy every time. It is only after the squeaker dies that she starts to lose a little interest and even then she will give the toy a few bites out of love.

Where is Cleo's favorite place for an outing?

Cleo absolutely loves Crissy Field in the Presidio of San Francisco with its wide open grassy meadow. It’s perfect for lots of running, sniffing and chasing the low flying swallows. She also loves Fort Funston because of its many smells, occasional stinky carcass to drop down onto and rub her body all over, the wide beach area to run fast over while chasing shore birds and the chance to dip into and bite ocean water! These two public areas are off leash so a favorite with many local dog owners and dog walkers.

Who is Cleo's best pet-pal?

Cleo adores any little dog she meets. She will make this soft grunting-whine sound when we encounter a wee pup on the street or at the beach. She’ll make herself small to play with them then suddenly pop her butt high into the hair and pounce like a reindeer. She loves that they will often let her slobber all over their neck while play fighting.

What's Cleo's most endearing quality?

Her most endearing quality is how loving and grateful she is. She seems to know how lucky she is. She loves to sidle up to people and lean in real close and hard (leaving lots of her fur/hair on your clothes!) for long moments. She will walk up to you and put her head deep into your lap and leave it there so that you can pet her. Her fur is really soft and being so tall, it is easy for you to cuddle with her and rub her tummy while she is standing. It is also unusual for a dog how long she will look you in the eye and hold your gaze, conveying to you how much she adores you in return.

What's Cleo's proudest moment so far? Her most embarrassing?

Proudest moment – digging around in her basket and finding just the right toy that she wants to use to show you in the moment how happy she is that you’re home. She is picky and wants the right toy that allows her to put her head down, with the toy in her mouth, squeak the toy madly while her neck fur is fluffed fully. It’s a sight to see. The most embarrassing is when she chooses the wrong toy, like her crab because the claws are long enough that she has stepped on one and almost tripped head first in front of you.

Visit Cleo's blog, become her fan on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

--Marshal Zeringue

Gwyn Cready & Socks

Who is in the photo at right?

This is me, romance novelist Gwyn Cready, and my four-year-old silkie terrier, Socks. He is my writing partner, keeping my feet warm and house safe while I type.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

I needed the java jolt. I've got a copyedited manuscript due in a week and I have barely made a dent in it. I'll need to be up for three days straight to get it done ("Yes, another shot of espresso, please.")

What's brewing?

I'm having the house blend at my favorite independent coffee shop, Uptown Coffee, here in Mt. Lebanon, Pa, a suburb of Pittsburgh. I've had many a productive day here. I'm loath to admit it, but at home I'm an instant coffee drinker. (ignoring sounds of hisses and boos). I just love Nescafe Hazelnut Instant. What can I say? And I like my coffee the way I like my heroes: straight, dark and hot.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

You know I love a good biscotti--dark chocolate with almonds if my fav.

Any treat for Socks on this occasion?

Well, chocolate is no good for dogs, so he's waiting for the meal portion of the day, where in our house at least, you can always count on some messy eater (or subversive dog lover) to drop some meaty morsels on the floor.

How did you and your dog come together?

Socks is our very first dog. My husband and I grew up in cat families and have always been cat people. However, from the time my daughter could speak, she said she wanted a dog. I'd say there was an accidental baby switch at the hospital, but she looks so much like me, I don't think I'd have a leg to stand on. We finally bowed to the pressure for Christmas, when she was eleven. We picked a Yorkshire terrier puppy, since we thought it would be best to dip our toe in the canine world with a dog who was cat-sized. Unfortunately (or, rather, fortunately), while we adopted a black Yorkshire terrier from the breeder we expected to be about seven pounds, he grew up to be a white silkie terrier who tips the scales at 13 pounds. So much for expectations. We couldn't imagine a better dog, though. He's a little dog who thinks he's a big dog, so he's a great watch dog. He's also a great litter mate to our daughter, who shares her bed with him each night. Suffice to say, we are totally in love with him and can't imagine how we lived without a dog before. My daughter wears a ridiculously self-satisfied smile whenever we talk about it.

How did your dog get his name? Does he have any aliases?

Socks is a nickname. His whole name is Socrates. And since he doesn't have markings that make him look like he's wearing socks, I'm sure a lot of people are confused. Actually, we wish we would have waited to name him. We think he'd make a better Barkley or Hoover. However, I think my son would have made a better Jamie, and we're not getting anywhere on that, either.

Tennis ball, Frisbee, squeaky-toy...?

He loves his plush ivory-billed woodpecker that makes bird noises.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

It took Socks and the cats (we have three) two years to come to an uneasy peace. I'm sure they got pretty darned tired being chased around the house, but when he finally grew out of his puppy phase, they were happy to ignore him. He loves the mail carrier, so that's not a problem, and he has actually killed a mole once on his walk. The poor little guy made the mistake of running in Socks's path. Terriers have generally been bred to clear mines of rodents, so Socks connected to the instinctual part of his brain, picked the mole up, shook him hard once and tossed the dead body away, all in a matter of a split second.

Does Socks have any influence on your writing?

Yes. He brings to heart to all my stories. I try to imbue the hero with the same loyalty and courage. As usual in the human world, though, he falls a tad short.

Who is Socks' best pet-pal?

His litter mate, my daughter.

What is Socks' best quality?

Eternal good cheer.

If Socks could change one thing about you, what would it be?

I'd eat all-meat meals and be required to use ill-designed chopsticks to get the food to my mouth.

What’s the most amusing thing Socks does? The most frustrating?

He goes bonkers if anyone pulls out a suitcase. I guess he doesn't want the pack leaving without him. And if we leave him alone with a view of the outside, he'll bark at every creature, great and small, that dares to walk by his house.

Gwyn Cready has a BA in English literature and an MBA in marketing from the University of Chicago. She lives in Pittsburgh with her family.

Her books include the RITA® Award-winning Seducing Mr. Darcy and the recently released Flirting with Forever.

Read an excerpt from Flirting with Forever.

Visit Gwyn Cready's website and blog.

--Marshal Zeringue

Dawn Kairns & Maddie

Who is in the photo at right?

That would be Maddie and me cuddling in our camper just after waking up -- right about coffee/tea time! I’m Dawn Kairns, author of Maggie: the Dog Who Changed My Life, and a former nurse practitioner and psychotherapist. Maddie, our 5 year old female lab, and I are a therapy dog team and visit with high risk kids.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

Every day is an occasion of play for Maddie, either in our yard, or on a hiking trail. She is a very high-energy girl! On a spring or summer day the occasion for “coffee” may be in a warm spot in our yard. Or we may stop at the Brewing Market after a hike or after our visit to the juvenile center as a therapy dog team.

What's brewing?

For me it's tea -- a nice cup of British breakfast and green tea combined, with honey and cream. Yum!

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

Occasionally a piece of zucchini bread or pumpkin bread -- but most often it's just the tea.

Any treat for Maddie on this occasion?

If we’re home I'll often give her a raw bone, which she just loves. At the Brewing Market I will often grab a pigs ear from McGuckin's, the hardware store right next door.

How were you and Maddie united?

My husband and I were looking for a female yellow lab to adopt, preferably one year old or younger (Maggie had been a black lab and I wanted to make sure I didn't make comparisons by getting another black lab). We had just lost Chloe (the 11-year-old Golden retriever we adopted a year after Maggie died) a couple of months earlier. We plugged our criteria into The Denver Dumb Friends League website, and it linked to the Denver Municipal Animal Shelter and, lo and behold, there was Maddie’s precious black face, and it really called to me. She was estimated to be 10 months old. I was unable to get through to the shelter. After a little magic and what I have always felt was some nudging from "the other side," I contacted the shelter the next day and got through. I called my husband who was visiting his elderly father and the three of us met at The Denver Municipal Animal Shelter. When my husband and I went back to Maddie's kennel, her response was like, "well, there you are finally! I've been waiting for you -- what took you so long?" Her name was not Maddie at the time, but a very weird name, Pita Cruz, which she didn't even respond to. The connection was immediate for the three of us. When we left the meeting room, she looked for us. I believe she knew we were her new people. It was her joyful spirit that grabbed us. We figured if she could be this happy in a shelter, and sniff curiously under the kennels we passed, wagging her tail while dogs barked or growled aggressively at her, that she was one happy girl! She'd been picked up by animal control roaming the streets of Denver. We had to wait a week to bring her home (for her to be spayed). It is funny, from the moment we began calling her “Maddie,” she responded. She clearly liked her new name.

You wrote a book about a dog named "Maggie" and your present dog is called "Maddie"--has the similarity of the names confused anyone?

Sometimes, but it's no big deal. You'd be surprised how many people I meet who call me "Maggie" after reading or learning about my book!

How did Maddie get her name? Does she have any aliases?

Her actual name is "Magdalene." I always thought Mary Magdalene got a raw deal as far as how she was portrayed, and something inside told me to name our next dog after her. Plus it gave me a connection to the name "Maggie," although Maggie's actual name was “Magic.” Sure, Maddie has a few aliases: Maddie the Pooh, Girly, Pups, and Baby Soul are the most common.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Oh sure, she'd go after a squirrel or cat (other than ours) simply because it's moving. I don't know what she would actually do if she were face-to-face with it, though.

Tennis ball, stick, squeaky-toy...?

All of the above! She is obsessed, especially with a ball. She would do this all day.

Who is Maddie's best pet-pal?

Our 17-year-old cat, Cinnamon, is definitely her best pal. They sleep together on the same bed at night, and Maddie nudges her to play and makes puppy sounds around Cinnamon like I've never heard her do anywhere else. When we go on a trip and take both of them, they share the backseat, with Cinnamon often curled up right against Maddie's tummy.

What's Maddie's most endearing quality?

She has many. Her ever present joy and happiness reflects in her constantly wagging tail. And if I'm upset, particularly if I'm crying, Maddie comes and licks my face, and lays right up against me.

What's Maddie's proudest moment? Her most embarrassing?

I think her proudest moment is how she really gets it that her job with the kids when we are doing therapy dog work is to bring them out, to engage them. If some kids are hanging back for whatever reason, she goes over and tries to involve them. As far as her most embarrassing moment, that was this winter when she was playing ball on the beach in South Padre Island, Texas. She was running backwards (which she is rather adept at doing) so she could keep her eye on where I was going to throw the ball -- and clips this poor, unsuspecting woman sideways, and knocked her flat on her face. I was mortified! Thank heavens the woman was okay and was very kind about the whole incident.

Your book is titled Maggie: the Dog Who Changed My Life. How did Maggie change your life?

Oh, in so many ways. Maggie taught me who dogs are, and so much about who I am. Primarily Maggie brought me into my heart and showed me how to trust myself, my intuition; and from there my life changed. Through my relationship with Maggie I became more genuine, more self expressive.

Learn more about Maddie, Maggie: the Dog Who Changed My Life, and the author at Dawn Kairns' website and blog.

Become a Facebook fan of Maggie: the Dog Who Changed My Life.

--Marshal Zeringue

Michele Young-Stone & Emma

Please introduce yourself and your dog.

My name is Michele Young-Stone. I’m a novelist. My debut novel The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors came out last month. My sweet dog’s name is Emma Peel after Emma on the British TV show The Avengers. Mrs. Peel has dark lashes reminiscent of the character played by Diana Riggs. Like the character, Emma the dog was also once, many years ago, svelte. (A girl loses her figure after too many lattes with her mom.)

Emma is a mixed breed, about 25 lbs.

How did Emma come to join your family?

My husband and I found her in the streets. She was about to get hit by a car and ran over to us. At the time, we were unmarried, but after adopting Emma, who’d been abused—poor thing—we bought a house (so Emma could have a yard) and got married so no one would call her a “bastard.” She’s already got “bitch” to contend with.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

No special occasion for coffee with a canine. Just another beautiful spring day, and Emma Peel likes sitting outside our local coffee shop, Stir Crazy, smelling the coffees and pastries.

What's brewing? Any goodies for you and Emma on this coffee-date?

Today, she’s eating carrots, and drooling at the sandwiches and cookies. I’m having an iced coffee with skim milk--my favorite spring/summer drink (minus wine, but it’s too early in the day for that…).

Who is Emma's best pet-pal?

Emma’s best friend is Rut(d)y—who’s a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. Emma’s not one for yippee dogs. Her best friend in the whole world was a dog named Winston, aka Stoney Bologna, a Bouvier Briard mix, but he passed away. To this day, she pulls toward his house. She was very depressed after he died.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Emma likes to go to the park and chase squirrels.

What is Emma's most endearing quality?

Emma’s most endearing quality is that she intuitively knows not to jump up on children or the elderly. She is gentle and affectionate, playful and smart. We love her so much.

Does Emma have any influence on your writing? On your life?

She definitely had an impact on my novel. Whenever I write about animals, I think about her and how much I love her, how much the whole family loves her. Wow! Without Emma I might not even be married, let alone have a child and a house. Here’s to Emma. Dog biscuits for everyone!!!!

Among the early praise for The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors:

"Vibrant, funny, complicated, magical, heartbreaking, electric. Michele Young-Stone’s debut novel The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors is all of this and more. I loved it! I’ve been waiting to read a book like this for years."
—Sheri Reynolds, bestselling author of A Gracious Plenty and The Sweet In-Between

"If you have anything else to do in your life, don’t open the cover of Michele Young-Stone’s The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors. You won’t be thinking about anything except Becca Burke’s amazing life for a very long time..."
—Jacquelyn Mitchard, New York Times bestselling author of The Deep End of the Ocean

Read an excerpt from The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors, and learn more about the book and author at Michele Young-Stone's website and blog.

The Page 69 Test: The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors.

--Marshal Zeringue

Jonathan Segura & Abby

Who is in the photo at right?

This is Abby, a gorgeous six-year-old English Bulldog. The other thing is her papa, Jonathan Segura, a minor writer with a grim future.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We woke up early to watch the Manchester derby. Hell of a match, and Abby was quite tense throughout. But we got the result we wanted in spectacular fashion.

What's brewing?

We are an Illy house. This morning, double espresso, followed quickly by an Americano (milk, no sugar), then a couple Stellas.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

Absolutely not. Eating before noon is for amateurs.

Any treat for Abby on this occasion?

There is always a treat for Abby. Today, it’s her normal breakfast of California Natural low-cal, followed by a bit of clavamox hidden in a smidge of peanut butter. She’s a good sport about meds, Abby.

How did you and Abby come together?

Craigslist, actually. It’s a boring story, but, essentially, craigslist.

Does Abby have any influence on your writing?

Abby exerts considerable influence over most parts of my life. Not that one, though. That’s my own private gallery of horrors.

How did Abby get her name? Does she have any aliases?

I wanted, in my idiotic youth, to name her The Admiral. So: Admiral. Addy. Abby. It’s a logical procession. She’s also the Mayor of DUMBO.

Squirrel, cat, postman...?

Abby doesn’t dig clattering hallway noises, but, otherwise, she’s pretty laid back. Unlike our neighbors’ annoying, yappy little fuckstard of a “dog.” But that’s another matter.

Tennis ball, Frisbee, squeaky-toy...?

Definitely squeaky toy. Abby is every squeaky toy’s nightmare. It’s a bloodlusty thing with her. Amazing, really, to watch her eviscerate one.

Who is Abby's best pet-pal?

She’s got a few pals in the building and has a strong affinity for bulldogs. Of these, Murphy is probably her favorite. He’s a good, stout dude & I approve.

What's Abby's best quality?

Her steadfast motherfuckerishness. She really is a mofo. Stubborn as hell and full of ideas about where we need to go on her walks (these invariably involve the dog run, the pet food store, or both). She’s elevated her manipulations to art status, and that is tough not to admire.

What's Abby's proudest moment so far? Her most embarrassing?

Hmm... difficult on both accounts. Once, when her favorite Scottish friend stopped by, she got so excited she power-vomited for about 20 minutes. It was amazing and might qualify as both prideful & embarrassing.

Jonathan Segura is deputy reviews editor of Publishers Weekly and the author of Occupational Hazards. He lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Among the praise for Occupational Hazards:

[A] savagely funny first novel… The beauty of the novel is Segura’s ability to walk a line between the comedy and the horror.
—Patrick Anderson, Washington Post

Occupational Hazards boasts a punchy yet world-weary voice, a tight plot, and a seedily realistic depiction of rampant corruption in present-day Omaha—kind of like a shotgun wedding of Elmore Leonard and Chuck Palahniuk.
—Radar

[A] wildy foul-mouthed…fun little book that pops just often enough to make you think Jonathan Segura will do less deputy editing for Publishers Weekly and more novel writing.
—Max Abelson, New York Observer

Learn more about Segura, Abby, and Occupational Hazards at Jonathan Segura's website and blog.

The Page 69 Test: Occupational Hazards.

--Marshal Zeringue