Ronni Ann Hall & Emma and Cobi

Who is in the photo at right?

My name is Ronni Ann Hall and my biz is Designing Fairy. I’m a writer and and an artist who likes to make products and classes that teach with fun, like my fairy deck. I also write about being very sensitive and a dog mom. The pic is with my basset hound, Emma Lou Bangles, who is 9 years old and a bit of a princess. My other dog is Cobianna. She’s 4. Cobi is golden retriever/husky.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We are celebrating the launch of my new website and blog, Healingfairyalphabet.com. Emma doesn’t really care about the event unless it is food-related. (Shhhh….She’s a food stealer.)

What's brewing?

Decaf coffee for this fairy! But a little foam added on top is nice.

Any treats for you or your dogs on this occasion?

Both girls would love ice cream but instead get a piece of a blueberry muffin. Emma might steal the whole thing.

How did your dogs get their names? Any aliases?

Emma Lou is also known as, Squooshy, Lasagna (new one resulting from food stealing) Mooshy, and Miss Thing. Cobi was recently dubbed “Kissalick” and I call her “Giant Puppy.” She has no idea she is large.

How were you and your dogs united?

Emma Lou was adopted at around 1 years old from the beautiful Sedona Animal Shelter. Cobi, who has been with me for two years, was being dropped off at the Golden Bone pet store and pet rescue and I just happened to be there with Emma Lou. Cobi was licking and kissing Emma like she knew her forever. We had just lost Sarah, my beagle, and Emma was lonely. When Cobi’s former person was filling out paperwork he mentioned her birthdate and it was the same as mine! I knew we were meant to be together. It was a bit of a rough beginning, as she thought she had to be a guard dog and in charge when she arrived, but she is a giant mush now.

Do your dogs contribute to your writing and art?

I draw them often in my illustrations. Emma has been seen in a tutu recently in one of my drawings. She doesn’t care for skirts. They both make it to my stories in one way or another, especially my little movies. I worry that Emma will have an attitude because she is famous now.

Cat, postman, squirrel....?

Definitely neighbor cat.

Squeaky-toy, ball, stick...?

Squeaky toy.

Where is your dogs' favorite outdoor destination?

Dog park of course!

Who is your dogs' best pet-pal?

Coralynn.

What is each dog's best quality?

Cobi is highly empathic and caring. She hates when anyone is upset and will kiss you until you feel better.

Emma is the best loyal companion. She is always by my side. We’ve been through a ton together.

If your dogs could change one thing about you, what would it be?

Emma thinks I worry too much. Dang, I do.

Cobi thinks I should play more and get off my butt. I should.

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which your dogs could speak, which actors should do their voices?

Would be funny if Emma had a voice female version of James Earl Jones.

I think Cobi would definitely be voiced by Elmo. She has that constant sweet excitement thing going.

If your dogs could answer only one question in English, what would you ask them?

Why do you eat things that you shouldn’t eat off the floor? I probably should be asking something more like, “What is the purpose of life?”

What advice would your dogs give if asked?

Again, Emma would tell me I need to let things go and stop worrying. Poor dog has been trying to teach me for eight years.

Cobi would just lick me.

Visit the Designing Fairy website, and the Healing Fairy Alphabet website and blog.

--Marshal Zeringue

Jennifer Caloyeras & Reba and Dingo

Who is in the photo at right?

My name is Jennifer Caloyeras and I am a writer. These are my dogs, Reba and Dingo. Reba is twelve years old. She's a mutt involving some sort of Jack Russell Terrier. We adopted her from the South Central Pound in Los Angeles. Dingo is also a mutt. I'm guessing Australian Shepherd and Corgi (we like to joke she is part fox). She came to us from the Milo Foundation in Northern California.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We are celebrating my new young adult novel, Strays, which is about a girl with anger management issues who gets sentenced to a summer rehabilitating aggressive dogs.

What's brewing?

Well, it's the morning here so it's all about the coffee. Just coffee. Black.

Any treats for you or your dogs on this occasion?

The dogs are licking frozen soup out of a Kong toy.

How did your dogs get their names? Any aliases?

Reba used to have a brother named Willie, after Willie Nelson. So Reba was a natural fit. Dingo came with her name (the woman who cared for her was Australian). I told the kids they were welcome to change it and they looked at me like I was suggesting something criminal. So Dingo stuck. Sometimes I call her Didi in public.

How were you and your dogs united?

We adopted sweet Reba at 8 weeks old from the South Central pound. We were looking for a puppy 12 years ago. I chose the alpha (Willie) and my husband picked the runt (Reba). Dingo was a puppy at a summer camp in northern California. The boys got to know her as they cared for her on "puppy chore". Then we found out the dogs (rescues from the Milo Foundation) were all up for adoption.

How do your dogs help--or hinder--your work?

Well, since this particular book is about dogs and the human-dog bond, they were very inspirational! If I had to describe what a dog looked like while barking, for example, I'd just look over at my subjects! I need to take breaks when I write, so it's great to take them on walks and clear my head a bit.

Have any actual dogs inspired fictional dogs in your books?

So our dog Willie (who is no longer with us) really inspired the three-legged pit bull, Roman, in my novel Strays. Willie (like Roman) had redirected aggression issues. If he couldn't attack the thing he wanted, he'd attack the person at the end of his leash. This was really a challenge as a pet owner.

As a longtime dog columnist for the Los Feliz Ledger and other papers, what's the craziest subject you've tackled?

I once did a column on DNA detectives for dog poop. Apparently there's an organization that will catalogue your neighbor's dog poop. If you send them a sample of who hasn't been cleaning up after their dogs, they can alert you to the culprit.

Squirrel, postman, cat....?

Birds! They love to play with (tease) our dogs! They swoop down low above their heads and then take off!

Who are your dogs' best pet-pals?

They love their human family most of all. They also enjoy interacting with my boys' guinea pigs. They're really very sweet with them. Dingo is still a puppy and loves any kind of stuffed animal...either a dog pet or my six year old's. She knows no difference. First she likes to remove the squeaker and then she eats the plushie's face off. Animal instinct?

What is each dog's best quality?

Reba is kind and patient. She has always been so gentle and caring with my kids. Dingo is spritely and silly. She makes such funny noises. She is very playful and loves to retrieve a ball.

If your dogs could change one thing about Californians, what would it be?

They would make it so that dogs were allowed in more places! Restaurants here are easing their regulations regarding dogs (some even include dog menus!) but we'd love to be able hike on all trails!

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which your dogs could speak, which actors should do their voices?

Reba would be played by Helen Mirren for sure! Hm... it's a challenge to cast Dingo! I think I have to go back in time and snag Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster) to really encapsulate all of her verve.

If your dogs could answer only one question in English, what would you ask them?

What do you dream about?

What advice would your dogs give if asked?

Remember to seize the day (and potty outside!).

Visit Jennifer Caloyeras's website, blog, Facebook page, and Twitter perch.

--Marshal Zeringue

Louisa Treger & Monty

Who is in the photo at right?

Louisa Treger, a writer, and her dog, Monty, a four-year-old male Cockapoo.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We have a standing coffee date every day. I don’t function without caffeine.

What's brewing?

When my debut novel, The Lodger, came out last October, my daughter bought me a Tassimo coffee machine to cure me of an expensive Starbucks habit. It worked – I am converted!

Any treats for you or Monty on this occasion?

We are both foodies, but we try to be good first thing in the morning. It doesn’t last beyond lunch time, when he sticks his face on my leg and gives me beseeching looks until I share whatever I’m eating with him!

How were you and Monty united?

I researched Cockapoo breeders on the internet and took a train to fetch him. I brought him home in a doggie bag; he was utterly disorientated, yet so cooperative and patient. By the time we got to the house, he owned me.

How did your dog get his name? Any aliases?

My daughters named him after General Montgomery – he does rule the house! His aliases are The Monster, Monta, Poogie, The Schnapsta - these are just the less embarrassing ones.

Does Monty do more to help or hinder your writing?

Most of the time, Monty is the sweetest and least demanding of companions, snoozing on my feet while I write. He has become an important part of the writing process! That said, he has the occasional needy day, where he wants his tummy tickled and won’t let me type…

Have any actual dogs inspired fictional dogs in your published work?

Not yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before a version of Monty appears in one of my books!

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. Oh, and did I mention, he’s obsessed with chasing squirrels?

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

Ball – he prefers other dogs’ balls, which has triggered a few embarrassing incidents in the park.

Who is Monty's best pet-pal?

Me. He follows me around the house and would sit on my lap all day, if he could.

What is Monty's best quality?

He is unconditionally loving. Now that my kids are teenagers, he is the only person who jumps four feet in the air when I come home…

If Monty could change one thing about you, what would it be?

More titbits from my plate!

If Monty could answer only one question in English, what would you ask him?

What are you thinking?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Monty could speak, who should voice him?

Will Smith.

What advice would Monty give if asked?

There’s no need to put me in the kitchen at night. I am very happy sleeping on your bed!

Visit Louisa Treger's website.

The Page 69 Test: The Lodger.

My Book, The Movie: The Lodger.

--Marshal Zeringue

Cassie & Emme

Who is in the photo at right?

Me, I’m Cassie. I have a boring 9-5 job during the week, but on weekends I grab my oxygen and adventure, and then blog about it. I have an autoimmune disorder that caused lung damage, so I get rather breathless sometimes, hence, the oxygen. My dog is Emme, a three-year-old lab/hound mix. You’d never know to look at her, but her mom was a 90-pound black lab/bloodhound mix. Obviously, Dad was something completely different.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

Today we’re having a home brew on the go because we’re on our way to a hiking trip in southern Indiana. I really have to watch my coffee cup because she will drink it if I don’t keep my guard up!

What's brewing?

I brew Folgers Colombian at home; I’m so not fancy with my coffee. I’m pickier about my creamer. Today, we’re having International Delight’s Cold Stone Creamery in sweet cream flavor.

Any goodies to go with the coffee?

Since we’re about to burn some calories, I feel less guilty about actually having a doughnut with my coffee, so I’m having a chocolate glazed. Emme will probably mooch a bite; she’s a notorious beggar.

How were you and Emme united?

I adopted Emme from Kyle Animal Shelter in Ohio. Her mom, Lexi, was picked up outside Lexington, Ky., by a kill shelter down there. They knew Lexi was about to give birth to at least nine puppies and they couldn’t handle that at the shelter. So instead of putting Lexi down, they found someone to take her. Kyle’s had two hours to come pick her up or they were putting her down.

The next day Lexi had not nine, but 12 puppies. Only one in the litter didn’t make it. Two weeks later, my then-roommate went to pick out a puppy. I went with her, not intending to get a dog until I was out of college. But then I saw Emme curled in a ball at the bottom of the puppy-pile and knew I had to bring her home. She still sleeps curled in a ball snuggled up to someone, and she still grumbles when you try to move her.

Any treats for Emme on this occasion?

Emme is having her current favorite: Duck jerky and cheese and peanut butter crackers. Plus a bite of whatever is on my plate. (Bad habits are hard to break.)

How did Emme get her name? Does she have any nicknames?

While I’m great at naming electronics and inanimate objects, I’m terrible at naming living things. I haven’t actually named either of my pets. My dad named the collie I had when I was a kid, and my best friend named Emme. I just thought it was a pretty name. But nicknames? That’s a whole other story. She has about eleventy billion, including but not limited to: Rabid Hound (because she likes to bark at everything), Flea Bag (because she got fleas when she was a puppy and too young for Frontline), Lazy Bones (because she is your stereotypical lazy hound), Betty (because that’s my Dad’s term of endearment), Emme Lou (not to be confused with Emmy Lou Harris), Cuddlebug (because she’s not happy unless she’s smushed up against someone), Muttblood (like “Mudblood,” when she’s bad) … and so many more. She basically gets called everything but her name.

Who is Emme's best pet-pal?

Emme’s best friend is, conveniently, my best friend’s boxer, Lola. They’re just days apart in age, but Lola is at least twice her size. They’re hysterical when they play together of their size difference, and because Emme is super-jealous of Lola’s long legs. Lola runs like a graceful deer and Emme tries frantically to keep pace.

Tennis ball, stick, squeaky-toy...?

Chewy bone, definitely. She loves squeaky toys – a little too much. They have been banned from most rooms of the house. Her favorite toys are the edible ones, or the ones that dispense treats with a good whack of the paw.

Postman, cat, squirrel...?

Postman, cat and squirrel. And neighbors, children, other dogs, deer, bison … you get the idea. She will take off after anything she gets a whiff of.

You're quite the traveler. Where is Emme's favorite destination of the places you two have visited?

Emme is such a hound dog and she loves following her nose. Her favorite thing to do – other than laying on the porch in the sun – is getting out in the woods and putting her sniffer to the ground. She took her first hiking trip when she was about six weeks old and was following trails and playing in creek beds in West Virginia. She loves trying to catch squirrels in Clifty Falls State Park in Indiana and barking at the bison in Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky. I think she really believes she can bag a bison. I can’t convince her that at 40 pounds, they’re just a little out of her weight class. She’s scrappy though, so maybe I underestimate her?

What is Emme's most endearing quality?

Her most endearing quality can also be her most annoying quality, but I can’t help but love it. She has that whole sad, hound face down and turns it on when I’m busy and she wants a good ear-scratching. She lays her little head down and looks up with those big houndy eyes and gives a whimper. I can’t resist. When I lean down to pet her, I get the tiniest little nose touch on the tip of my nose in gratitude. If I ignore the whimper, I get a barely-felt, tiny little pinch of a bite on the back of my elbow followed by a tail thumping on the floor.

If Emme could change one thing about you, what would it be?

If she could change anything, she would take away any and all responsibility so she could command all of my time. Never-ending belly rubs!

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Emme could speak, who should voice her?

Emme is a strong female, very vocal and never shy about speaking out. (I also suspect she has kind of a potty mouth.) I think a good voice for Emme would someone like Meryl Streep.

If Emme could answer only one question in English, what would you ask her?

If I only have one question, I’d really have to make it good, because there are so many things I’d love for her to explain. But I think the burning question is this: “Why are you so anxious?” Everything seems to stress her out.

What advice would Emme give if asked?

Emme is a take-charge kind of girl. If she wants something – she takes it, whether that’s her bone or your sandwich. I think Emme’s advice would be to grab the world by the throat and wait for nothing to come to you.

Visit Cassie's Breathless Adventurer website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Anica Mrose Rissi & Arugula

Who is in the photo at right?

I’m Anica Mrose Rissi—writer, storyteller, and editrix—and that’s my dog, Arugula. She’s a long-legged hound mutt with a nose for mischief. She’s about seven years old but still acts like a puppy, especially when she’s off-leash in the park near our apartment in Brooklyn, or bounding through the woods in Princeton, NJ (the other place we call home).

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

It’s Sunbeam Time on the couch, which is our favorite time of day to be there for cuddles, dog naps, or writing (or all three).

And today we’re celebrating the release of my first book, Anna, Banana, and the Friendship Split.

What's brewing?

Neither of us is a big coffee drinker, so it’s water for Rooga and Two Leaves and a Bud Organic Mountain High Chai with whole milk for me. My writing is fueled by several cups of tea per day. Like my dog, I am a fan of routine, and the ritual of preparing the tea helps prepare my brain for writing.

Any treats for you or Arugula on this occasion?

She certainly looks [photo left] like she’s hoping I will pour her some of the milk. (I might.)

How were you and Rooga united?

About six-and-a-half years ago, I was on my way to catch a train to go visit my parents, when I walked past an animal shelter adoption bus that was parked on my street. There she was, in the center window, wiggly and adorable and destined to be mine. I called my parents and said, “I’m going to be late. I’m adopting a dog.”

“Bad idea,” my father said. “Call us when you know what train you’ll be on.”

She’s the very best bad idea I’ve ever had.

How did your dog get her name? Any aliases?

It was a spur-of-the-moment adoption, so Arugula Badidea Rissi was a spur-of-the-moment name that just seemed to fit. As an energetic puppy, she was mostly called Roogie, but she grew into a (slightly) calmer, very sweet Rooga. She also goes by Roogs, Roo, Booga, Roogaboo, and Badidea, her middle name, which I chose in honor of my dad.

Does Rooga do more to help or hinder your writing?

My advice to all writers at any stage of their career is: Get a dog. Roogs is invaluable to my writing process. She gets me out of my chair for regular walks, which are vital to good brainstorming. She reminds me that it’s important to eat, even while on deadline, and offers to share my snacks if I’m eating too much.

She provides companionship and moral support through the long, lonely process of writing, revising, and revising some more. And she gives me something to tweet about other than snacks and books.

Have any actual dogs inspired fictional dogs in your published work?

Yes! My debut chapter-book series, which launches this week with Anna, Banana, and the Friendship Split, follows a girl named Anna as she navigates the ups and downs of elementary-school best friendships with a little help from her wiener dog, Banana. Although Banana is a one-year-old dachshund and Arugula is a seven-year-old, long-legged, hound-and-who-knows-what-else mix, they have several traits in common, from their expressive ears and playful personalities to their love of rolling in stinky things. Anna and Banana share a level of devotion and attachment that mirrors my relationship with Arugula, for sure.

Rooga isn’t the only dog who inspired characters or scenes in the Anna, Banana series. Book four, Anna, Banana, and the Puppy Parade (which isn’t out until January 2016, but publishing schedules are such that I recently handed in the final draft), is the doggiest Anna, Banana book yet, and all three of the dogs I grew up with make cameo appearances in pivotal scenes. Arugula takes part in the puppy parade too!

Cat, postman, squirrel…?

Squirrels.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick…?

Yes, please! If it’s a toy of any kind, Rooga wants to chase, chew, and play with it.

Who is Rooga's best pet-pal?

She loves visiting her cousin, Schnippy, my parents’ dog, whom I also named. (Schnippy is short for Schnipp Schnapp, a card game I used to play with my Swiss grandparents.) Schnippy is getting old now, but when the two of them get together, it’s all perked ears and happy tails, and as much bouncing and tug-of-war as Rooga can convince Schnipp to play.

What is Rooga's best quality?

Her energy and enthusiasm for life and love—and her ability to drop everything and nap.

If Rooga could change one thing about Brooklynites, what would it be?

If Roogs were appointed Supreme Ruler of Brooklyn, the third thing she’d do (after declaring all hours to be off-leash hours at the park, and commanding the minions to feed her cheese) would be to ban skateboards and scooters. Rooga hates skateboarders. Humans are not meant to glide like that, and the sound of those wheels on pavement drives her nuts.

If Rooga could answer only one question in English, what would you ask her?

Roo is a good communicator and we understand each other well, even without words. I’m very happy with my dog being a dog, so I almost never wish she could speak. But whenever she’s not feeling well, I desperately wish she could answer the question, “What’s wrong?”

What advice would Rooga give if asked?

Even when I don’t ask for it, Arugula gives lots of advice. Things like, “You should give me your cheese,” and “We should stay in the park all morning,” and “I think you’d like tugging on this rope bone with me.” Right now she’s saying, “You ought to stop typing and start rubbing my belly.” Arugula Badidea is full of good ideas.

Visit Anica Mrose Rissi's website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Laura Thomas & Ginger Lily

Who is in the photo at right?

I am Laura Thomas-— wife, mother of 3 teens-and-twenties kids, and published author of various genres (feel free to check out my website). I am also the owner of this gorgeous canine… Ginger Lily, the 4-year old female English bulldog! We live in the beautiful city of Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We love to walk down to the lake, and this beautiful spring afternoon was way too perfect to stay indoors. Lily, who is the quintessential couch potato, always perks up when I grab her leash, and she seems to undergo some sort of miraculous transformation into an energetic greyhound puppy. Until she gets back home to her couch…

What's brewing?

Starbucks non-fat caramel macchiato always hits the spot for me.

Any treats for you or Ginger Lily on this occasion?

I was uncharacteristically restrained from consuming anything chocolate today (I usually go for the Starbucks chocolate caramel pretzel stick), but Lily had a little piece of her beloved cheese when she arrived home.

How were you and Ginger Lily united?

After our previous pooch of 14 years passed away, I said we were not having another dog. Ever. Yeah, that lasted about 6 months, and then I began talking to myself and developed a bizarre fascination with English bulldogs. Possibly because I’m English, but mostly because they are such great companions. My family loved the breed too, so we did lots of homework and finally located a superb breeder in the Vancouver area, and then waited for the litter to be born. We all fell in love with Ginger Lily at first sight, and the rest is history. She is such a humorous, adorable, slobbery bundle of shedding fur— there is never a dull moment with Lily around!

How did your dog get her name? Any aliases?

We named her after a restaurant at a resort in Jamaica. Doesn’t everyone do that? Actually we were on vacation and had put a deposit down with the breeder, so were officially “pregnant” with an English bulldog. We ate at this restaurant one night, and I looked up at the sign and declared that if our puppy happened to be a girl, we would name her “Ginger Lily”. She became Lily for short, but also answers to Frilly, Fluffy, Stinky, and Bacon. Okay, she’s an attention seeker and answers to pretty much anything!

Does Ginger Lily do more to help or hinder your writing?

I would have to say Lily helps rather than hinders my writing. She’s a pretty low maintenance/ exceedingly lazy doggie, and I find her heavy breathing/ old-man-snoring quite therapeutic while I work. On the rare occasion when she does in fact move from the couch, it’s a healthy reminder for me to take a quick break from the computer screen while I attend to her majesty’s needs!

Have any actual dogs inspired fictional dogs in your published work?

Oh yes. An English bulldog appears in my middle grade novel The Candle Maker, which is scheduled for publication later this year with Dancing With Bear Publishing. English bulldogs are such humorous, fascinating animals and they simply ooze character…I took much inspiration from Lily. A series of bulldog stories for young children is definitely on my “to do” list.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

Postman— or any other poor soul who happens to come anywhere near our house. She has a ferocious bark, but she would only ever lick someone to death. And maybe ask nicely for a tummy tickle.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

We banned squeaky toys early on for the sake of our sanity. Ball or anything she can chew vigorously… have you seen the under bite?

Who is Ginger Lily's best pet-pal?

Sadly, her best pet-pal Romeo the guinea pig recently died, so now her only fellow pets are the fish. Not quite as exciting really. But to be honest, she prefers humans.

What is Ginger Lily's best quality?

She is so, so loving. You seriously can’t help feeling loved with this one around… although she is not terribly good with ‘personal space’. All she asks in return is to be fed!

If Ginger Lily could change one thing about British Columbians, what would it be?

Lily would respectfully request that B.C. residents not presume she is a boy dog, just because she is lacking in the daintiness department. Yes, she is a little husky and has quarterback shoulders, but don’t the pink collar, pink striped harness, and pink sweater scream that she is a girl? “What’s his name?” Really, people?

If Ginger Lily could answer only one question in English, what would you ask her?

Do you actually watch the TV, or are you just gapping out and sleeping with your eyes open?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Ginger Lily could speak, who should voice her?

Morgan Freeman. Definitely.

What advice would Ginger Lily give if asked?

Slow down the pace of life and smell the roses. Or eat them. Or just eat anything.

Visit Laura Thomas's website, Facebook page, and Twitter perch.

--Marshal Zeringue

Tony Schwartz & Chesney

Who is in the photo at right?

My name is Tony Schwartz and I do really cool things for really cool people. I'm a professional DJ, the owner of an A/V rental company, Puget Sound Pro Audio Rental, and a photo booth company, The Puget Sound Photo Booth Co. We do amazing things in the events and entertainment industry - I'm blessed to call having fun a career.

My dog is Chesney, who is an English bulldog (mainly. He is mixed with another breed, but we aren't sure what). He is a five year old male. He is pretty much awesome, too.

What's the occasion for Coffee with a Canine?

We stopped for coffee on our daily walk around town. It's a warm day, so Chesney wanted some water and a nap in the shade. I just wanted an iced beverage and unfortunately, this isn't called Cold Beer with a Canine.

What's brewing?

I am drinking an iced mocha, no whip.

Any treats for you or Chesney on this occasion?

No treats. Chesney is a picky eater. He's weird like that.

How were you and Chesney united?

I adopted Chesney from Cascade Bulldog Rescue when he was 10 months old. The first day, he arrived at my house in a diaper and sat in the corner, shaking (poor boy!). By the third day, he had destroyed most of my things (in some areas, the baseboard still hasn't been replaced). Despite replacing the carpet and going through numerous toys, blankets, pillows, as well as a couch, among other things, he has come a long ways and he's doing much better. He's a good dog with simple needs.

How did your dog get his name? Any aliases?

His original name was Spike. He's not really a Spike despite the fact they put one of those spike collars on him. So, I named him Chesney after my favorite country artist, Kenny Chesney.

You're a professional DJ. Does Chesney ever accompany you on gigs?

No, he usually has to stay behind. It's not a bad life though - he gets to watch sports: he likes football and baseball despite it having complex rules, but NASCAR makes sense to him: go fast, turn left.

Of course, my dad will often come over to visit him while I'm gone, and sometimes take him back to his place. Chesney gets to run around a big field, and play with my mom.

I do want to train Chesney as a professional ring bearer. I think it would be a great add-on to my Wedding DJ services. Until then, Chesney often comes to the office each day and greets everyone as they enter by sniffing their feet.

Cat, postman, squirrel...?

Chesney is not a fan of Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton.

Ball, squeaky-toy, stick...?

Chesney is spoiled with toys: bones, balls, etc. But his favorite is a red Kong Wubba that I will have to toss and he will fetch. He'll grab it, play tug of war with it, swing it around wildly, etc. He can easily do that game for 30 minutes. It's also why there are holes and dents in my walls.

Who is Chesney's best pet-pal?

We used to go to the dog park, but Chesney would try to tackle all the dogs like Kam Chancellor. It was pretty funny, but other dog owners didn't like the fact there dog wasn't an athletic stud like mine. So now, the only dog Chesney hangs out with is my mom's chilula, Maui. And by hang out, I mean co-exist and tolerate each other. They are really good at co-conspiring for treats together, though.

Where is Chesney's favorite outdoor destination?

Anywhere outside with people. He loves it. I really want to take him to a "Bark in the Park" night at a professional baseball game. I think we would enjoy it immensely.

What is Chesney's best quality?

He is patient. In the summer, I'm gone a large percentage of the weekend, and he patiently waits for me to return. This commercial pretty much sums it up (sans the drinking and driving part, which no one should ever do).

Oh, and then when I do come home and he sees me in the window, his worst quality emerges - he goes 0 to 100 real quick and won't stop barking and running and jumping. And then he goes to his food bowl and throws his food around via his mouth like its confetti. My house is never clean for longer than ten minutes, tops.

If Chesney could change one thing about Seattleites, what would it be?

Well, we live in Puyallup, and Chesney has only been to Seattle once (he didn't like it - too much traffic). So, rephrasing the question a bit, if Chesney could change one thing about Puyallup, he would have more restaurants with outdoor seating available so more dogs and their bipeds could have lunch outside together.

If Chesney could answer only one question in English, what would you ask him?

"When you sleep, what do you dream about?"

If Hollywood made a movie about your life in which Chesney could speak, who should voice him?

Whoever was the voice of Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh. That would be absolutely perfect. Matthew McConaughey would be a close second.

What advice would Chesney give if asked?

"If you are a single woman, you should date my daddy."

Visit Tony Schwartz's website, Facebook page, and Twitter perch.

--Marshal Zeringue